Relax, You’re Doing Fine: What Every Good Mother Stresses about Unnecessarily
I feel like I’ve been a mom for my entire life. It gets kind of hazy trying to remember life before mommy-hood. Many mothers I’ve spoken to have agreed wholeheartedly with a statement I firmly stand behind: ‘When you give birth to a baby, you give birth to a lifetime of guilt.’
It is important for one’s own peace of mind to realise that most of the stuff that we’re stressing about, we’re stressing about unnecessarily. In my experience, here are some of the things that I feel every mom constantly stresses about. (And yes, I do mean unnecessarily):
You’ve found that perfect pair of shoes and you know you deserve them. Those shoes are practically screaming ‘I was made for you!’ You so badly want to buy them, but you feel that you should be spending that money on your kid instead. Relax! You also deserve to spoil yourself sometimes.
You absolutely don’t need to walk out with a new toy for your kid to the same value as that delectable footwear creation. Sure, if your child is walking around barefoot because you haven’t bought them a decent pair in a while, then you should probably be looking into that rather than buying yourself some heels. But otherwise, it’s completely ok to spoil yourself from time to time. After all, you are doing the hardest job in the world on a daily basis, 24 hours a day.
Whatever form your ‘me-time’ takes – be it reading a book while curled up on the couch, taking a much-needed afternoon nap, or popping out for a night of drinks with your girlfriends, you deserve that too. A happy, fulfilled mom leads to a happy, fulfilled child. We all need to recharge sometimes. If you are feeling really guilty about this, put in some more time with your child. Read them a book, play with them outside and then embark on your ‘me-time’ adventure. You deserve it!
You’ve had a long, tiring day and the last thing that you feel like doing when you are FINALLY home is cooking up a balanced meal. It’s ok to order takeaways from time to time. Chances are that you’ve given your child their fruits and veggies all week, so it doesn’t hurt to have a break and occasionally order something quick and easy.
This is probably one of the worst parts of the guilt that I have to live with. Have I saved enough for their future? Do I read to them enough? Why did I put off doing their homework with them last week Tuesday? Why haven’t I made them watch educational shows instead of the cartoon channel? These kinds of questions can plague mommies to the point of madness.
This is the part where you really need to relax! One of the most important things to remember is that if you are questioning whether you are good enough, it means that you are definitely good enough. You care and you are thinking of your child every day, right down to taking them on a fun outing that isn’t particularly enthralling for an adult and choosing the perfect fabric conditioner for their clothes.
The root of that guilt is that we love them so very much that we always want to do better and be better, and that can only be a good thing.